


Delirium

by myotishia



Series: All ye who enter here [1]
Category: Torchwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-06 23:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18861448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myotishia/pseuds/myotishia
Summary: From such a promising start a day can descend quickly especially when a time traveller with a vendetta returns.





	1. Valentine

**Author's Note:**

> New reader? Start right [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18551278)

Owen Harper usually spent his birthday on his own, avoiding anyone even mentioning it because it was a reminder that it was another year alone. This year on the other hand was different. He’d woken up early to whispering from the kitchen. Two voices that made him more happy than he’d been in years. If you’d asked him only a year before how his life would have turned out this would have been the last thing he could have thought of. He hadn’t forgotten that it was also valentines day and he had a few things arranged himself. The bedroom door opened to Tosh carrying a tray wearing only an apron.

“We didn’t wake you did we?” She asked, barely able to keep a straight face. 

“All that matters is that I’m awake now.” He heard his phone ring and threw it into the laundry basket across the room. “If the world’s ending, it can wait.”

 

Jack sighed. He’d suspected he wouldn’t be seeing the good doctor that day but usually that just meant Owen, not half of his staff. He’d give them an hour and if no one answered after that he’d be giving them a visit to make sure they hadn’t been kidnapped. At least this year Owen wouldn’t be wasted by ten AM and Jack wouldn’t have to take him to the hospital to treat him for alcohol poisoning. That hadn’t been a fun day. 

“Short of the world ending are we still going out tonight?” Asked Ianto.

“I promised you we would.”

“Good… So where did you hide my shirts?” He stood topless, tapping his foot.

Jack grinned mischievously. “It’s warm in here. Not as if you need them.”

“Jack.”

“You haven’t worked it out yet?”

“Evidently not.”

“I’m not that imaginative… And I’m a bit lazy when it comes to hiding anything.”

Ianto face palmed. “They’re all in your draw, aren’t they?”

Jack laughed as he went to grab his coat.

“You are in so much trouble tonight.”

“God, I hope so.” 

 

Gwen had spent the day before with Rhys, knowing that valentines was always a busy day. That hadn’t changed between her old and new jobs. At least now she was busy with enough money to live comfortably instead of busy and wondering if mugging people would leave her better off. She’d essentially hopped out of her car and into the SUV, not having time to even put her bag away.

“Just us two?” She asked.

“I’m guessing Owen threw his phone away when I called.”

She paused and then tried to stifle a laugh. “Tosh and Elise aren’t answering either then.”

“No. I’m giving them an hour and then I’m going go and interrupt them.”

“Are you sure you want to walk in on that?”

“I was planning to knock on the door first.”

“So where are we going?”

“If the reports are right then something small and fluffy.”

“Something that won’t try and kill us?”

“I never said that but hopefully. If it is what I think it is then this should be easy. The last one we found loved humans. That was the sixties.”

“What happened to it?”

“We kept it in the greenhouse until it passed of old age.”

“The greenhouse? I thought it was a mammal the way you were talking.”

“No, it’s a plant. Technically anyway.”

“Ok, describe it.”

“It’s like a fluffy mix of a cat and a rabbit but made of plant matter. You’ll see.”

 

The flower show had been in full swing as the creature appeared, rubbing its face and tail against each flower it crossed. A local animal rescue centre had been called out to catch the thing that looked as if someone had cruelly dyed its fur green but they couldn’t catch it. It had no interest in cat food and wasn’t actually eating any of the flowers. It would pop up to spend some time in the sun then dart into hiding whenever someone tried to pick it up. The Torchwood system had picked it up in photos posted on twitter from those attending. Gwen had spotted something moving in a display of lavender and watched it peek out. It carefully hopped forwards and began to wash its ears like a rabbit.

Its tail brushed against the lavender flowers leaving a fine yellow pollen behind. 

“I found it. It’s adorable.” She smiled, speaking into her earpiece.

“What colour is its flower?” 

She could hear him smile. “Purple.”

“It’s an adolescent. Try and offer it some water.”

“It isn’t going to bite me is it?”

“It has no teeth, the most it could do is gum you.” He chuckled.

She looked around and saw a hose that looked as if it had been used recently. It dripped leftover water into her hand as she lifted it. Turning to the green being she held out her hand, crouched down so not to frighten it. A small crowd had formed, watching with bated breath at the little creature tentatively moved forward, sniffing Gwens hand. It twitched its ears while it lapped at the water. When it had its fill it head bumped her hand like it wanted to be pet. She certainly wasn’t going to say no. It’s “fur” was soft like newly grown grass.

“Hi there. You’re a friendly one, aren’t you. Just got scared of all the people, eh?” She soothed, scratching it under its chin. It happily climbed up into her arms, snuffling at her shirt and trying to curl up as she stood. 

“Looks like you’ve made a friend.” Jack beamed, seeing the happy little creature curiously snuffling around. 

“What do they eat? It must be hungry.”

“They don’t. They live on water and sunlight. Sometimes they dig their paws into the soil and get nutrients from there but otherwise they’re happy with just water.”

“What are we going to call it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well we can’t call it whiskers… The old one was called whiskers wasn’t it.”

“In my defence I didn’t name that one either. Let’s get this one home before it throws out more pollen into the air.”

“Is it dangerous?”

“No, but it’s hell for people with allergies.”

 

Tosh looked around the hub, hoping to apologise for being so late before being told off. She might have been a grown adult but she still hated getting into trouble. 

“You’re late. I expected a call.” Said Ianto, sounding more perplexed than angry.

“Sorry, we lost track of time.”

“No harm done. It’s not like you do it all the time so I’m sure Jack won’t mind. And the fact that you managed to drag Owen in with you might grant you a few points.”

“Not going to bother me today. I’m having too good of a morning.” Owen smiled to himself, reclining in his chair.

“Aren’t we missing someone?”

“Elise is just getting something from the car. She wouldn’t let either of us see so I think it’s one of her secret projects.”

 

Gwen hopped out of the SUV with the plant kitten still cuddled in her arms.

“Elise, did you just get here?” She asked.

Elise held the metal case she’d retrieved behind her back as if that would hide it. “Yea. Sorry. We lost track of time. What’s that?”

“It’s a plant, kind of. It’s really friendly.” 

The rabbit sized creature looked up and sniffed the air before yawning and making a sound similar to a chick.

“Oh my god that’s adorable. Are we keeping it?”

“I think so. I’m going to take it up to the greenhouse. What’s that in the case?”

“Just something I’ve been working on. I don’t want to show anyone until I’m sure it’s working.”

“Can I get a hint?”

“Umm… Well it’s something I’ve wanted to try making for a while and it uses the neural controller for now but I’m hoping to eventually have it run directly from the human nervous system.”

“I assume you have Tosh helping you.”

“Nope. I want to see how far I can get without her help. I know she could have it done in a week but I kind of like the challenge. It’s gotten to the point that I can’t hide it in the garage anymore so Ianto said I could borrow one of the unused offices to work in.”

“As long as today stays quiet you can work on it today if you want.” Said Jack, in an honestly good mood.

“Really? Thanks.” She beamed, lifting her case slightly as the weight had pulled it down.

“I want you to tell me what it is as soon as you get some decent progress.”

“It is your base so I suppose I can do that.”

 

Other than the flower kitten, that Ianto had named Seren, there wasn’t much to deal with through the day. It passed without incident. That always made everyone a little tense as there should be something going on at all times. Jack and Ianto had even managed to have an uninterrupted date for once. The sky was clear and the night was chilly but not uncomfortably cold. They’d opted to walk back, taking a quiet route to avoid the evening revellers. 

“Why did you avoid this for so long?” Asked Ianto, looking up to the stars.

“I… Fear I guess. Dates and romance make losing someone so much more painful than just having a physical relationship.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know… No point looking back now.”

“I suppose not… What’s it like out there. Space I mean.”

“Quiet, infinite, beautiful and terrifying.”

He took Jacks hand in his. “You miss it.”

“Sometimes, but there are a few things here I can’t find anywhere else in the universe.”

“Oh?”

Jack looked over at his partner with a softness he didn’t usually allow himself to show. It was so rare that he ever really relaxed, always having to be on his guard just in case. It was tiring keeping up the facade. “If I ever got the chance to go back out there, would you come with me?”

“I wouldn’t say no… Jack I lo-”

“Don’t… Please don’t say it.”

Ianto was taken aback. “Why? Don’t you feel the same way?”

“I do. I honestly do but that word. It puts a target on your back. Let’s leave it unsaid.”

“I didn’t think you were so superstitious.”

“Timelines echo. Even if they never happened for us some things travel through. Most people don’t notice it but for me… It’s like a flashback. Every time you’ve said that word you were…” He looked away, trying to compose himself. 

“I’m alive here and now. If we both already know it then it can stay unsaid.” Ianto smiled sympathetically, knowing that Jack really did feel the same way being more than enough. 

“Thank you.”

“Anyway, you’re still in trouble for this morning.”

The captains enthusiastic smile returned. “I didn’t do a thing.”

“Like hell you didn’t.”

 

The next day dawned with a comforting calmness. Elise had spent all morning on her project. With Jack’s permission it was registered as a Torchwood project and therefore she could use all of the resources available. Inside the case had been the surgical steel bones and joints of what would be a prosthetic forearm and hand. She aimed to eventually make it so the user would be given the same free movement and feeling as a natural grown limb. She’d spent the day before working on the muscular structures and tendons. The problem she was working through was connecting the limb to the central nervous system without it being rejected. What’s ore was she needed to get it to work using the electrical impulses sent naturally through the body instead of an outside power source. She didn’t want it to be a seperate object. She wanted it to be a natural feeling part of the body. Ianto had suggested using some strands from the bio computer to make the connection clearer. It was a good idea. To test the idea she’d made an extremely simplified version for one of the lab rats and clued Owen in to surgically attach it. He had a rat whose mother had bitten it as a baby and was missing one leg, affectionately nicknamed stumpy, so that was the one chosen. 

“Stumpy’s asleep and ready to go.” Owen said, kind of curious how the whole thing would work out. 

Ianto was watching from the railing as Elise handed over the tiny leg, contacts ready to be attached to the body. A metal clamp gripped into the bone and would eventually be grown over during recovery and the bio computer fibres knitted themselves into the animals nervous system followed by the synthetic tendons. A removable metal cover was closed over top to seal off the connection site. Stumpy looked a sight with a tiny dressing and fabric cover to stop him chewing on it. As the rodent started to come round his back legs twitched followed by his natural front leg. Elise held her breath, hoping that the electrical signals would reach the prosthetic. It moved very slightly then kicked out like its natural counterpart. 

“If it works he probably won’t use it right away. He’s never had a right hand before, plus it’s going to be sore. Fingers crossed his body won’t reject it.” Owen leaned near the creature as it looked around with its beady black eyes. 

“It moved at all. That’s huge.”

Ianto smiled at Elises excitement. “No making armies of bionic rats.”

“Aww come on. We could take over England with our rat hoards. Give them tiny rocket launchers.”

“Couldn’t do any worse than the current prime minister.”

“What do you think Stumpy? Want to be our defence minister?” She beamed. The confused mammal rolled onto its feet. His little metal hand clicking on the table as it landed.  He stopped and sat up on his back legs to wash his face, jumping as the second limb brushed over his nose. The dressing and cover keeping him from lifting his arm all the way up to his ear. 

“Wait. He shouldn’t be doing that yet.” Mused Owen. “Even bionic limb replacements should take active thought to move like with the neural controller. If it’s already moving then-”

“It interfaced perfectly with the body.”

Stumpy waved his new hand, more like a claw as it only had a pinching mechanism with its small size, flexing the “fingers”. Elise could barely contain her glee when a sudden snap sound rang out and the room went momentarily dark.

“The fuck?” Said Owen as the emergency lights flicked on, gently placing Stumpy in his small recovery cage. 

Ianto took his pda from his jacket. “There’s no reason the power should have gone out.” He headed out into the main area of the hub, looking to Tosh for a possible explanation. 

“I have no idea. Everything just went out.” She said, trying to get her computer to reboot safely. The generators had caught the sudden lack of power and done their job but the computers hated the sudden dip. 

“Is the rest of the city out?” asked Jack.

Gwen had her phone to her ear. “Rhys. You’re still in Cardiff aren’t you?... Yea… Can you just check if you have power?... Yea… Ok… Love you too. See you later.” She hung up the call. “At least where Rhys is they have power. Want me to go check in the office upstairs?”

“Please. Remember to go the long way around.”

“I know.” The workmen were still putting the tourist information centre back together after the flooding had damaged it. 

“Sensors aren’t showing any damage to the power lines.” Said Ianto, hoping the normal lights would be back soon. Trying to read anything under the orange hued emergency lighting was like trying to play on an original gameboy at night. 

Jack didn’t look convinced. There was no time to argue as the lights flickered back on. 

 

Outside it was still pleasantly fresh and Gwen was taking her time heading back. The power had come back on so there was no real need to worry. An old gentlemen approached her. He was smartly dressed and for a moment she could swear she’d met him before somewhere. 

“Sorry to bother you but I have this letter for a friend of yours. A miss Carter I believe.” He said, even sounding like an upper class gentleman. He held out a letter with a wax seal holding it closed.

“Will she know you?”

“Indeed she will. The last time we met she left quite the impression on me and I should hope I left the same with her.”

“I’ll make sure she gets it.”

“Thank you.”

She turned to leave.

“Stay well Mrs Cooper.”

She stopped sharply. “How did you know my-” He was nowhere to be seen as she looked around. The strangeness of the encounter hitting her suddenly. The letter was still clutched safely in her hand, sealed tight and a familiar symbol carefully drawn with ink on the envelope.

Elise was confused when the letter was handed to her.

“An older guy said this was for you. He didn’t say his name but he said you’d remember him.” Gwen said, looking just as confused.

“I have no idea who that could be.” She shrugged, taking a ruler from her desk to pop the wax up and away from the paper. It stayed in one piece as she unfolded the envelope. Inside the paper was stained brown with something. She immediately dropped it and grabbed a pair of gloves. She was reckless not stupid. Gwen hadn’t seen what had shocked Elise so much.

“What’s wrong?”

“One sec.” She picked the letter back up and fully unfolded it.

‘You may be concerned as to what this is about but do not worry. I will explain. When we last met I sat at my desk, unarmed, unknowing. You shot me in the back of the head and left my body where it fell. The paper this is written upon was sitting on my desk that evening. You may think you ended my plans at that moment but as you should know by now time travellers rarely fall that easily. I have been informed of, and seen, your work that for me has not yet come to pass. You have given me a personal time limit, nothing more. 

If I am correct you will have just experienced a power outage in your base. I have not damaged anything permanently, fear not, but it was necessary to allow a gift to permeate through the ventilation from the work site at ground level. You all may yet survive if your mind is strong enough, but I highly doubt it. 

Your sincerely,

Mr Billis Major.’

She looked up “How do we block off the ventilation in here?”

Tosh looked up from the computer. “To fully block it off we’d need to go into full lockdown. Why?”

“No time to explain.”

An alarm began to blare, warning them all of the contaminant in the air. It was too late and Elise could feel her mind slipping slightly. She couldn’t jump back. Couldn’t concentrate. She fell to her knees and passed out. 

 

Owen had been double checking the morgue’s temperature control when the warning sounded. The hub had already begun locking itself down and luckily for him, his whole area worked from a separate ventilation system just in case he ran into something highly toxic. The computer was already analysing what had got in to the hub but it didn’t stop Owen desperately wishing he could help the people he cared about. He wanted to be in there and able to check on them but he was stuck. He punched the door in frustration. 

The computer beeped for his attention, a rundown of the substances components on its screen. It contained a mild paralytic and a deliriant. Not enough to kill but more than enough to send them into a nightmare state. The hubs systems were already sterilising the ventilation and the human body should be able to just ride it out but the mind was not so resilient depending on what it latched onto. The second the air was safe the door would unlock and Owen could try to help, but until then he was trapped. Waiting.     


	2. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team are forced to face their nightmares

Toshiko felt as if there was a weight on her chest. She tilted her head and tried to see in the darkness only to see a grey wall. Grey floor. Inside a box. A box she felt as if she’d spent an eternity inside. It was a UNIT prison.

This had to be a nightmare, one she thought she’d stopped having some time ago but here she was. She just had to wake up. She bit the inside of her cheek but she was still there, still staring at the grey cement wall. She bit harder, tasting blood, but still only grey. A loud screaming filled her ears before she realised she was the one screaming. She couldn’t be back there, no. All the time she’d spent at Torchwood. Her friends. Her lovers. Was it all fake? All a dream? It can’t have been. She considered slamming her head against the floor and just trying to end it there, but something inside told her to stop. She’d felt that despair all that time ago but she wasn’t the same woman she had been back then. Not even close. 

She took a deep breath to calm her torn nerves and spat out the mouthful of blood that had collected. Going by the thin beam of light it would be exercise time any second. She just had to play dead until the guard came to collect her. The blood would help them believe she really had hurt herself. As if on cue the heavy door opened and the men picked her up by the arms, unusually silent. They marched her to the infirmary and strapped her down to prevent her escape. Opening her eyes she saw they were gone. It would take the doctor a while to get through clearance as they had to be searched. She had to think. Had to find a way out. A silhouette behind the curtain at her feet moved.

“Jack?” She asked weakly, as if she hadn’t spoken in years. 

It was definitely him but something wasn’t quite right. There was no light in his eyes, no life, nothing. 

“You aren’t real… None of this is real.” She breathed, watching him raise his gun towards her face. A flash of light filled her vision before her body jolted. She could move again so she tried to push herself up.

“Woah. Take it easy.” Said Owen, moving to her side to stop her falling. “Don’t try and get up yet.”

“What happened?” She asked, trying to wipe her mouth.

“Someone basically drugged all of you. You’re the first to wake up from it, just keep taking deep breaths.”

She lent into him, insisting to herself that she wasn’t going to cry over a hallucination. He was warm, definitely real. 

He held her close. “You’re ok… I’ve got to check on the others. Just try and sit for a while, you’re going to be unsteady on your feet.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Just keep your eyes open, yea? How’s your cheek? You bit into it pretty hard.” He let her go, making sure she was steady.

“It hurts but it’s ok.” She could feel where her teeth had cut into the skin. It would be bruised and sore for a while but nothing she couldn’t handle. 

She surveyed her surroundings and saw Gwen laying on the floor, her eyes moving rapidly under half closed eyelids. 

 

Gwen had tried desperately to move but her body wasn’t doing what it was told. She could see plastic pinned to the walls of the room she was trapped in. Meat hooks hung from the ceiling, swaying as if something had brushed past them. The sound of muffled voices came from beyond one of the large sheets of plastic. A figure holding a large blade in one hand moved closer, pushing aside the plastic with their free, but blood covered, hand. He hovered the blade above her ankle before raising it into the air. She gritted her teeth to dampen her scream but the pain never came. Opening one eye she saw the bloodied figure in the jaws of a large weevil. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. She might have been able to reason with a human but weevils didn’t listen. It threw the body it had been chewing on aside and slowly moved forwards, sniffing at her, leaning inches away from her face. There was something she always noticed about weevils eyes. They were inhuman but not unfamiliar. It was usually just like looking into an animals eyes but this one there was nothing. It was like looking into a hollow blackness. What’s more there was no smell, and that was always hit you first being close to one of them. Where was the smell? It wasn’t real. This wasn’t a real weevil. It opened its jaws and lunged for her face. 

Gwen gasped as she awoke, her hand rising to her face to make sure she still even had one. She was shaking and disoriented.  

“Gwen, you’re awake.” Said Tosh. “Are you hurt?”

“N-no. I don’t think so.” She stuttered, sitting up and pulling herself together. 

“Don’t move too quickly. We got drugged with something through the ventilation system. Owens been keeping watch over us.”

“That’s reassuring I suppose.” She teased softly, trying to lift the rooms spirits as much as it could. “That letter. It happened after Elise opened that letter.” 

“We can look for it once we’re all awake and not likely to fall over.” Her legs still felt like jelly. 

 

Ianto looked up into his, should have been long gone, girlfriends dead, empty eyes. Her lips were blue and her skin had taken on a sickly pallor. Her body was fully encased in cyberman armour. 

“Please.” He begged, feeling cold metal at his back. “Lisa. Don’t. I’m sorry. I tried to save you! I did! Lisa!”

“Lisa.” A digital drone repeated the word back to him. She turned away from him and he craned his head to see an army of them. Two held Jack by his arms between them, dead, with no sign of returning. He couldn’t become one of them, he just couldn’t. He was hyperventilating but couldn’t stop himself. His lungs burned and the repetitive droning of the cybernised army filled his ears, making it near impossible to even think. Jack hadn’t come back. That wasn’t right, not even a cyberman could kill Jack Harkness. Why? 

He clenched his fists and tried to work out why he couldn’t move. He couldn’t feel any restraints so by all logic he should be able to at least go out fighting. 

“Jack!” He called, hoping that the captain was just playing dead. 

The figure that looked like Jack lifted its head, blue light emanating from his eyes. He stood and reached out with a silver metallic hand. 

“Why haven’t you come back yet?! You aren’t Jack! You’re nothing!” He roared, fingers digging into his palm as he swung. 

Owen had to dodge as Ianto went from laying prone to sitting up and punching in the blink of an eye. “Fucking hell! Wake up!” 

The welshman blinked, catching his breath, and tried to push himself back.

“Ianto! You’re safe, calm down. It’s me.”

His vision cleared and he recognised the man in front of him. “Owen?”

“So you are back with me then.” 

“I-” He began before looking down at his hands, rivulets of blood running from the half moon cuts where his nails had cut into his skin. “Shit.” 

“Here.” Owen placed a dressing over the cuts. “Put your hands both sides of that until they stop bleeding so much. Once you can feel your legs again you can go and clean your hands up but for now don’t move.” 

He nodded and pressed his stinging palms together. He could see Tosh and Gwen waving over at him looking just as disoriented and tired. “Where’s Jack?”

“Over there. Don’t worry, I’m working on waking him up too.”

“Waking him up? How?”

“Mostly I’ve just been making sure no one hit their heads when they fell but other than that I’ve been trying to talk you out of it. You probably couldn’t hear me but it was something for your mind to hopefully grab onto.”

 

Jack recognised the room he was in. He’d tried so hard to forget it but certain memories refused to fade. When he’d mentioned that he’d tortured people in the past it hadn’t been a lie. Back then he was still under the delusion that it was almost justified. These people had killed and hurt so many, wasn’t it only right that they suffer too? Information was just a bonus. He only understood how wrong he’d been after an incident with a young looking man who was supposedly part of a terrorist group. He hadn’t given up a damn thing so Jack had decided to do a bit more research than just accepting what he’d been given. The ‘man’ had been only seventeen and the evidence against him was paper thin. He’d practically been a child. That was the moment when the illusion shattered. For the first time Jack hadn’t been able to see himself as the hero. Back when he was basically a kid himself they turned him into a monster. He told himself he would never be that monster again but that didn’t take away what he’d already done. 

On the ground in front of him lay the broken body of that seventeen year old, staring up with dead, empty, eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” He choked out, throat feeling like he’d been swallowing sand. “I didn’t know. I… I’m so sorry.” 

He could hear movement from outside and the heavy metal door scraped open. The agents were moving bodies, the sound of dragging feet filling his ears, dead weight pressing down onto the dusty ground. A body was dropped in front of him, sending up a cloud of dust. As it cleared his heart almost stopped. 

“Tosh? No… No no no.” He gasped, Toshikos bruised and bloodied face only inches from his. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t move. “Why?! They didn’t do anything! Leave them out of this!” He roared, blood running cold. No one answered him and that was worse. This was his fault. Turning his head he saw other bodies he recognised. He couldn’t take this. This wasn’t fair. Wasn’t right. Tears blurred his vision, running down and soaking into the layer of sand spread across the floor. More movement and a final figure was pushed through the door and into a chair in the centre of the room. They were still alive and fighting but the agents were so much stronger as they bound the figure to the chair. 

“No! I’ll do anything you want just don’t hurt him!” Jack begged, looking up at Ianto. “I can’t lose him too. Please!” 

The empty eyed agents barely acknowledged his presence as they moved around the room and locked the door. 

“Jack!” A voice echoed from far away. 

“Who? What?” He couldn’t order his thoughts and he could barely see through stinging eyes. 

“Come on mate. You’ve got to wake up.” 

“O-Owen?”

“I think that was my name. Jack? Can you hear me?”

“I… What’s …”

“Open your eyes.”

But his eyes were already open, weren’t they? Were they? He couldn’t close them so that meant they must already be closed. A nightmare. That’s what this was. That explained everything. He opened his eyes to see a very concerned Owen.

“You back with us?” The doctor asked. “Don’t try and move, yea?”

Jack bolted upright and pulled Owen into a crushing hug.

“Hey, you’re ok. Jack… You’re crushing me.”

“Sorry.” He loosened his grip, bleary eyed and just happy to see everyone alive. 

Owen smiled softly then turned. “Tosh, can you move? Can you check on Elise? She was ok before you woke up.”

“I’m fine. Can do.” She called over. It was like music to Jacks ears as he pushed away the image of her dead eyes and replaced it with her smile. 

Owen turned back to Jack. “At least you’re making sense again. I had no idea what you were on about while you were out.” 

“I was probably speaking my first language. I haven’t spoken it in a long time.”

“I always assumed English was your first language.”

“Language changes a lot over millennia. I’m ok, go check on Elise.”

Owen wasn’t completely convinced as Jack was still shaking but he didn’t argue the point. Tosh was knelt down next to Elise, holding her left hand up and pulling back her sleeve. “Owen!” 

He rushed over to see what was wrong and it became very clear. The skin on her left hand had blackened. The glove on that hand had what looked like a small paper cut in the middle finger and the deadened flesh spread from there. In his peripheral vision Owen saw something glint at the edge of the dropped letter. Between the envelope and the bloodstained paper hid a fine razor blade. The deliriant hadn’t been to kill them, it had been to keep them busy while whatever was on the blade did its job. He picked her up and ran to the autopsy bay, hoping he could save her life, even if he couldn’t save her fingers. She’d been fine when he checked on her. It had moved so quickly and he doubted it would slow down. He had to stop it spreading, no matter what. 

 

Elise felt like she was both boiling and freezing at the same time and her left arm felt like static. She was sat in one of the cells but couldn’t remember how she got there. Looking through the glass she could see Toshiko watching her.

“Tosh? I… I don’t feel right… What’s going on?” 

“Save the sob story. You lied to us.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“You killed a man in cold blood. It wasn’t as if it was a fair fight. You shot him in the back of the head.”

“I… He was going to-”

“He hadn’t done anything yet.”

“Tosh…”

“No. Even when we first met you were just keeping me distracted. You weren’t there for me you were there for your twisted version of Owen.”

“That might have been the case at the start but I love you.”

“Love? A monster like you can’t know what love is!” 

Elise felt her heart breaking. “Please. Toshiko… I-”

“No. Just shut up. I don’t want to hear it.”

Ianto lead Tosh away before returning. “You’ll be staying here from now on.”

“Ianto. I don’t know what’s going on.” She sobbed, unable to move or do anything even if she could.

“We should have known what you really were after you murdered Lisa.”

“But you sa-”

“Shut up. You can stop your crocodile tears as well. You’re more like your robots than any of us.”

“You know that’s not true. You’re my friend.”

“No, I’m not. I’ll be back with food when I feed Janet if Jack doesn’t decide to put you down.”

“Ianto!” She cried, watching him walk away and out of sight. This didn’t make sense. Why would they do this to her? The answer stood at the far wall. 

Billis smiled as best he could with the exit wound through his face. “You took my life so now I’m taking yours. What did you think was going to happen? That I’d just cease to exist? I have the beast guiding me so you never stood a chance. Just accept your death with dignity.” He faded away and the cell felt so much smaller than it had before. 

The door opened and Owen entered, a syringe in one hand. He wouldn’t look her in the eye.

“Owen… Please. Billis is manipulating you. You have to believe me.”

He lifted her left arm, looking for a vain.

“What is that? Owen?”

“You’re too dangerous to keep around. Just don’t fight it. It’ll only hurt more.”

“No! Owen please. Just listen, this isn’t right. You know that!” She screamed, trying her best to pull away. A burning pain shot through her arm as the needle pierced her skin. It made her feel dizzy and sick, but that might have been the desperate despair she was falling into as her vision began to fade. 

“I’m sorry.” His voice seemed distant and echoing, lost in the void.

 

Owen sat next to Elise’s bed, waiting for her to come round. To stop the spread of the necrosis he’d had to amputate her arm just above the elbow. She’d been crying as he delivered the anaesthetic and he hoped that she had managed to fight through the nightmares unscathed. Everyone was shaken but trying to just keep moving forward. Tosh had tried to stay and wait until Elise woke up but she kept having to take breaks so she could see and rehydrate. Looking at the gap where her left arm should have been broke her heart. 

Elises eyelids flickered as she started to come round. 

“Morning.” He said softly, just happy to see her conscious.

She looked up and the tears began again. “Please… I don’t want to die…” She slurred.

“Hey, hey, what’s all that about? You’re ok. You’re not going to die.” He soothed, brushing back her hair softly.

He eyes screamed as she begged. “I love you. Please don’t kill me.” 

“I wouldn’t ever do that. I love you too.” He could feel himself welling up a little seeing the desperation in her eyes, letting the fact that they’d never said I love you to each other before. “You had a nightmare, yea? You got a nasty infection so it probably made your nightmares worse.”

“You don’t hate me?”

“No. I don’t hate you. No one hates you.” He rested his forehead against hers. “Everyone’s been worried.”

“I’m not a monster.”

“No, you’re not.” 

“Why can’t I feel my arm?” She asked in a tiny voice, tinged with fear. Her tears slowing.

“We can talk about it when you’re a bit more lucid, yea?”

“Can you ask Tosh and Ianto if they hate me?”

“They don’t hate you but I can ask. They probably want to see you anyway.” He sat up and looked to the doorway where he saw everyone peeking round after hearing voices. 

 

Once she was fully lucid, bar the slight painkiller haze, Elise was ready to talk. Trying to avoid what was essentially a group therapy session Jack had opted to take notes on what Elise said. He didn’t want to talk about his own nightmare, ever. 

“So who is this Billis character and why did he want you dead?” He asked softly, still wanting to hear what was being shared not so far away.

“In fairness I killed him first. Remember the night you and Tosh got yeeted back in time?”

“Yeeted?”

“Thrown.”

“Right.”

“Anyway, Billis was the guy that owned the dance hall. He’s Abaddon’s servant I suppose. He was going to set off a chain of events that not only got Owen temporarily fired and very much shot in the shoulder, he also managed to rip open the rift and free Abaddon. Every living thing that fell under his shadow died and to stop it you gave up a load of energy. You took a long time to come back. Future Owen and I decided it was better to stop him before he could start.”

“How is he here now?”

“He’s a time traveller. This version of himself is one before I shot him. Abaddon showed him what I’d done and he wanted to get me out of the way I presume. Owen said he checked on me as soon as he could and nothing looked wrong with my hand. If he’d been affected by the … whatever it was, then he wouldn’t have been lucid enough to stop it.”

“You seem pretty calm about the whole thing.”

“The painkillers help. Makes the world feel soft… I need to stop having projects. It’s like I’ve been tempting fate.”

“These things would probably still happen you know.”

“Maybe… Can I try and finish my robot arm?”

“With help. Should I bother telling you to recover before you start?”

“It would be better to implant it before this fully heals up… It’s surreal looking down and not seeing my arm. I guess that’s what the burning pain was in my dream. I was locked in a cell, like I was dangerous.”

“Maybe that would have happened back when I joined but not now. I wouldn’t let that happen... You heal up and let us deal with Billis.”

“When I have my metal hand can I punch him with it?”

“We’ll see.” He smiled. “I think Gwen wants to come and apologise. She feels guilty for bringing that letter in.”

“If he didn’t get me this way he would have got me another. Tell her it’s ok… I’m putting an air purifier in the ventilation system when I can. If that had been toxic we’d all be dead.”

“If the system detects anything toxic it would sterilise the area immediately. That’s not something I want to have to go through again.”

“Yea?”

“All the air gets pulled out and replaced then a fine mist collects whatever might be left. It’s a bit like choking but it’s better than death… I want you to stay here until you’re fully stable and we have some kind of hold on Billis. Let him believe he succeeded.”

“Do you have any footage of him? I don’t want anyone getting conned. I think something like Abaddon tearing open the rift might kill me.”

“We do. We’re not going to let him get away with this.” The ice flashed through Jacks eyes. 

“What was your nightmare?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“With the painkillers I’m on at the moment I probably won’t even remember this conversation. It’s good to get things out in the open.”

Jack shook his head. “Some things are better left forgotten and I’ve got a lot to forget.”

 

Owen opted to stay at the hub to monitor Elise and work on her replacement arm. Tosh wanted to stay too as she’d be lonely but Owen convinced her that sleeping in her own bed would be better for her and he was always on the other end of the phone if she needed him. Gwen had just wanted to go home and cuddle up to Rhys. She didn’t even want to think about the day but she knew she’d end up spilling the beans on the whole mess as soon as they settled in for the night. It was cathartic but not great for having a nice evening.

Jack had actually settled to sleep for once, keeping Ianto close. Not that Ianto argued the point. He was happy to be close to the one man in the world he could honestly see staying with him no matter what happened. 

The whole team was shaken but if they were honest they’d been through worse before and survived. Like all things it would pass, if only the short term damage didn’t hurt so much.

 

Billis watched the area around the hub for days, hoping to find some sign that his letter had worked. He’d seen the other staff but not miss Carter. He was almost proud of himself. He could play on how fragile the other agents would be after their friends death and the psychological torment they went through when she died. Their medic would be the easiest to break if his research was anything to go by. He would be blaming himself for her death and he had a history of drinking when depressed. Billis just had to convince him to open up the rift to have a chance of saving her and correcting his perceived mistake. It was possible that he could even get inside their little base. Once Abaddon was free they wouldn’t be a problem anymore. 

 

Owen sat at the bar, looking a lot like his old miserable self, trying to channel the version of him that had failed. Part of him was still kicking himself that he hadn’t caught the infection before it travelled as far as it did. As much as Elise seemed to be taking it in her stride, he knew she was just trying to keep her feelings to herself. She was like a cat, perfectly happy to show when she was in a good mood but would try and ignore or mask any pain she was feeling. They’d even ended up having an argument as she didn’t want to take painkillers so she could think more clearly and get more work done. He’d simply told her that if she didn’t take them she’d be in too much pain to work anyway and to just let Tosh take over the project. That was not the right thing to say. She’d taken it like he was telling her that they could take over her one job and she wasn’t needed. He hadn’t meant it that way. He just wanted her to get some rest instead of working herself to death. That was how he left it as if Jack was right he needed to leave at that moment. It was taking a lot to not start texting her but Tosh had told him to let her cool off and they could talk later. 

Owen stared into his drink. Arguments happen, especially in times of stress, but they feel so much worse when it was a person you love that you end up fighting with. He’d said to Tosh that he loved her before but when Elise was begging for her life it was the first time he’d said it to her. He doubted she even remembered. 

“Fuck!” He breathed to himself, lost in his own thoughts.

Someone sat next to him, snapping his thoughts back to the moment. “You look like you’ve been through a lot.”

Owen grumbled his reply, acting more drunk than he actually was. This was definitely Billis and he had to stop himself decking the bastard there and then. 

“Loss is hard to deal with. I understand that more than most.”

The low murmur from the room had fallen completely silent and the second hand on the clock on the wall had stopped. “Huh. Clever trick.”

“That isn’t the only ability I have but sadly to help you I’d need somewhat more.”

“Yea? Like what?”

“To stop the passing of a loved one you’d have to travel through time and space, not that I need to explain that to you. Do I Dr Harper.”

Owen narrowed his eyes at the man. “How much do you know?”

“Quite a bit. I know that if you help me to get control of the rift for a limited time I could help you prevent the tragic death of your friend… Or were you more than friends?”

It took everything Owen had to hold his composure. He covered the rage on his face by necking the rest of his drink. “Don’t talk about her.” He grumbled and slammed down the glass.

“My apologies. I won’t mention her again… Have you made your decision?”

“I’ll let you in but one wrong move and I’ll make sure you never see the light of day again.”

“I assure you, I am not one to make wrong moves.”

 

Jack was having more fun with this little revenge plan than he should have been. As far as they could work out Billis was directly linked with Abaddon somehow so to keep things as in hand as possible he had to fully believe that his plan was working. Owen’s ability to bullshit his way out of almost any situation was very useful for that. Gwen was hanging back with Tosh, keeping an eye on things from all angles just in case it did go wrong. 

“Are you sure this is wise?” Asked Ianto, double checking that the bullet proof vest he was wearing under his jacket wasn’t visible.

“It’s just in case. Owen’s carrying blanks.”

“I mean the theatrics.”

“It’s better than just shooting him out in the street. If he thinks he’s one step ahead of us he’s more likely to make mistakes in the future. Even after we’ve dealt with this version I’m sure we’ll run into another.”

“Why can’t you be the one to get shot then?”

“He knows I can’t die. It’ll be more effective.”

“I’m not an actor.”

“You just have to fall over and play dead.”

Ianto sighed, honestly wishing he didn’t have to be involved. 

Toshiko piped up. “They’re outside.”

 

“Close your eyes. I’ll let you in but I’m not telling you how to get in.” Owen demanded, not giving a thing away. Billis looked annoyed but complied. Once he was inside it wouldn’t matter anyway. He allowed himself to be lead through multiple doors before opening his eyes again.

“This place is much larger than I expected. What are you using to control the rift?”

Owen paced towards the rift manipulator before hearing a voice and drawing his gun.

Ianto froze. “Owen? What are you doing?”

“Stay the fuck out of this tea boy!” He growled. “Just turn around and forget you saw me.”

“I can’t do that. Just calm down and think about what you’re doing.” Ianto had his hands up. His fear very real. He may have known that the gun was only loaded with blanks but looking down the barrel was still terrifying. 

Billis smiled to himself. “You can’t let him leave and he’ll only try and stop us.”

“Owen, I don’t know who this is but you know that’s wrong.”

“Don’t you want miss Carter back?”

“You can’t bring back the dead.”

“Of course you can as long as certain people stay out of the way.”

“Just back away, we can work this out.”

“Just shut up!” Owen roared, firing twice. The squibs hidden in Ianto’s jacket popped, shocking him and sending him easily to the floor, not sure if he’d been hit or not. He lay still and played dead as he’d been told. The lights flickered and went out. In the pitch blackness Billis felt something pierce the back of his neck.

Jack caught Billis’ body as it dropped, a blade sliding from the back of his neck from inside his skull. It was an instant kill and gave nothing away for Abaddon to use. 

“Are you still alive Ianto?” Owen asked, kind of impressed that the man could stay as still as he did.

“Just about.” He sat up and pulled off his jacket and vest. “Worried about me?”

“I just didn’t want to have to stitch you up. I thought you might have knocked yourself out on the way down.”

 

After getting Billis’ body in the freezer Owen decided it was time to tell Elise she’d be able to go home and hopefully not have another argument. She had been told to stay out of sight so she was hiding in the empty office that she kept her project in. Schematics were pinned up all over the walls and Elise was hunched over the desk. 

“Fuck!” She shouted in frustration, throwing the pen she’d been using across the desk before rubbing her hand over her face. She couldn’t keep her work steady without her other hand and it was starting to get to her. She also knew Owen had been right and she really should have taken her painkillers but those had been left in her bag next to where she’d been sleeping, past the one place she’d been told not to be. 

“You ok?” Asked Owen from the doorway.

“No. I’m not ok. I’m very not ok. I thought I was but I’m not and I can’t even think straight. You were right and I’m a moron!” She didn’t even look round.

“You’re not a moron, you’re just stubborn. Want me to grab your pills?”

“Please… I’m sorry I had a go at you. I’m not handling this well and I’m kind of homesick.”

“It’s fine. I get it. I got more heated than I should have too. If it helps, you can go home tonight.”

“Is it bad that part of me doesn’t want to?”

He paused before perching on the edge of the desk so he could actually see her face. “Why?”

“I know I was never fully confident about my body but now… I feel… Unattractive. I can keep my leg out of sight but I can’t hide this. I can’t pretend that I’m not hurt. And even when I’ve finished the replacement it’ll still be cold and solid.”

“Eli. Neither me nor Tosh give a shit about a few scars.”

“This isn’t a little scar! I’m missing a fucking limb!” Her voice cracked slightly.   

He couldn’t just make her feel better about this, couldn’t just fix it. “I can’t speak for Tosh but I still think you’re gorgeous. When we’ve finished your metal arm it’s going to look good because it’s attached to you. It doesn’t matter if it’s cold or solid because it’ll be part of you and that’s what’ll make it beautiful.”

Elise laughed sadly. “Ok mister smooth talker.”

“I’m serious. And to be honest Tosh is really excited about your new arm. She was going on about trans-humanism and how much it could help people in the future. I mean she’s a tech nerd, of course she likes it. She’s been trying not to get over excited about it just in case it upset you.”

“Yea?”

“Yea. We’ve been worrying that you hadn’t got emotional about what happened yet. The painkillers don’t take feelings away even if they make them feel a bit dull.”

“I know. I just hate being a downer all the time.”

“You aren’t as much of a sad sack as you think you are. Come on, painkiller and home time. Doctors orders.”

“Thanks… Mind taking a look at my work tomorrow? I just want to double check it won’t reject.”

“Ok. Stumpy seems to like his. He keeps clicking his little claw on the bars because it makes a louder noise than his other claws.”             


End file.
